If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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