I wannas sexs uuuuu
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
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