I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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