On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Too much gin, very little bucket
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
