why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
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