Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
