dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
