Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
