Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
