I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
