Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
