In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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