Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
