Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
