I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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