Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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