I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i believe in u and ur pee
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
