We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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