Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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