I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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