office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
