Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
