He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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