I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
