Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
