alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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