there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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