The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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