Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
