he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
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Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
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In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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