i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
