I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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