The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
