I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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