is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize