How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
