census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I looked at my own cervix.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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