You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Watching her eat just hurts me
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
