you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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