Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
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We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
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Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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