I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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