Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
