...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize