i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
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