that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
