So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
