after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
