I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize