she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
where are my eyebrows?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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