Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
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im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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