i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
