You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Girls should come with a carfax report
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
