Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
