She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
