I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible