Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
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Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
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I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds