..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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