took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.