What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
