brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
