i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
