my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
So squirting runs in the family.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
How naked do you want me to be?
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