It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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