Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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