just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
