mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
